The Daily Something: Really?

Literally, just had the WORST day of residency so far. Even worse than that first Hellacious call shift on L&D nine months ago (that I will never, ever forget, that still inspires a healthy bout of nausea every time I think about it, which should give you some idea of how bad today was).

And, at the end of the day, after 15 hours of pure terror, humiliation, helplessness, and several bouts of bathroom crying, I saw they emailed me my annual contract renewal to be signed today.

Really?

It took me the last two hours just to talk myself into go back to work tomorrow, I hope they don’t expect that thing to be returned any time soon.

The Daily Something: Nope.

So, I was really hoping that the in-patient Gyn Onc rotation would be one of those things that I build up in my mind to be so horrendous, that then turns out to be not so bad.

Nope.

A few things come to mind:

#1 – Why in the name of all things rational, would a person keep doing a job where they work so hard, for such long hours, for not great pay, where they are mostly treated like crap?

#2 – I never want to be the a-hole who treats my co-residents, med students, nurses, or anyone else I work with (including patients) like crap. Including dumping work on them, not helping them when I can, humiliating them in front of others, or just plain being mean to them. Especially if they are really, obviously trying. Even when I am completely overwhelmed myself.

#3 – I hope I make it to be the person who gets to be the nice, non-a-hole Chief that people like to work with, and that if I do I am so good that I never get completely overwhelmed no matter what is thrown at me (literally and/or figuratively) ever again.

#4 – Gyn Onc is rapidly ruling itself right out as sub-specialty choice, on a very short list of sub-specialty choices.

#5 – For the millionth time, I am ridiculously grateful for my classmates, who are the best classmates I could have ever hoped to have in a million years, who make me feel like I’m not alone in thinking these things, and just plain not alone.

#6 – And I am grateful for these shoes:

AwesomeSuperPinkPowerShoes

Which I splurged on just for this rotation (in my defense, I had coveted them months ago and was pretty much obligated to buy them when I found them miraculously on clearance and in my size). Because they are super comfortable, they make me feel a little more awesome and little less awful, and remind me that I am human being who dares/loves to spice up a straight month of boring, drone OR scrubs with the craziest, brightest shoes I can possibly find, every time I look at them as I am sprinting around the hospital.

Take that Rotation From Hell.

Take that.

The Daily Something: Thursday Thug Life.

Sometimes I hear a song and it’s so good, everything else stops while I listen, and I think, Where has this band been all my life??? And then I remember where I’ve been for most of my life, namely buried in the cultural deprivation tank that is deep, rural Middle America. Mostly sans the Intranet.

Looking on the bright side, which helps me feel (slightly) less lame, now that I’ve escaped to a place so ridiculously, comparatively rich in cultural, ethnic, and artistic diversity, I get to make up for all the lost time and be pretty consistently amazed with all the enthusiasm of a severely underprivileged person flipping a light switch, or eating fast food for the first time.

Today it was this song, thanks to awesome local college radio station #4. (That’s right, four local college radio stations. They play it all – Indie, Alt, Rock, Rap, Reggae, Retro, Soul, etc. Versus the four radio stations total where I came from. That all play Country, often the same song at the same time, more often than you would think is possible. Not that I have anything against Country, being a huge fan of Lucinda, Loretta, Patsy, Cross Canadian, Hank (specifically I & III), George (specifically Jones and old-school Strait), Merle, Willy, the Truckers, etc. Not they ever they played them.)

Anyway, the song. (And, Yes, I listened to the lyrics. Hayseed that I am, I like it. I like it a lot.)

The Daily Something: I Give Up.

A) Feeling rather foolish about the 5 – 10 minutes I spent (wasted) sorting through bargain cat toys at Wal-Mart last weekend, trying to find one Herself might actually deign to play with.

B) Absurdly glad that in the end, I did not end up shelling out the (whopping) 97 cents for the pink, fuzzy mouse.

Because,

C) This thing has been rocking her world for the last 3 days since I missed when chucking it in the garbage……..

The Daily Something: Bustin’ Out All Over.

Since a picture is worth a thousand words, I took a vote (Amongst myself. It was unanimous.) and decided that these should be worth at least few skipped Daily Somethings.

P.S. Hello Spring!! I have been waiting (impatiently) for you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Daily Something: Fraggle Friday.

Do it, anyway.

The Daily Something: Random Acts of Chocolate.

I was standing in the hall in clinic today, hanging out with the nurses, waiting for our first patient of the afternoon to arrive. Now, naturally, I am partial to nurses everywhere, but I am especially fond of the ladies that work on our out-patient and in-patient GYN floors at the Mother Ship. There is just something about them, a certain unique blend of smarts, sass and heart that I find irresistibly endearing.

And, there is one that always has candy. This is something that a person who works up to 16 hours a day and may or (often) may not have had the time and/or money to eat something, quickly picks up on. Even better, she’s always willing to hook a poor, starving resident up and share it. I think I only had to ask her once, hunger completely obliterating any inhibitory shame or shyness, like a panhandler lurking in a doorway ‘Pssst, Hey, got any candy? Can I have some? Please?’ Followed by my best Puss In Boots impression….

Don’t judge. I really wanted some candy.

Now she usually just slips some candy into the pocket of my white coat every time I see her. (See what I mean? These gals, are special.), but today when I saw her she was eating her very last mini-Reeses. I had actually just eaten the lunch I packed for the day (Shocking, I know, except it was two PB&J sandwiches and cake donut with sprinkles I pilfered from the staff appreciation breakfast this morning. No actual cooking involved. Whew.), and I really didn’t *need* any candy, but she ran off to get me some anyway.

As I was explaining to the other nurses why she had run off like that, I watched a patient who was being checked in for another service approach in my peripheral vision. She appeared to be a slightly stressed out mom-type lady intent on the rooming process and oblivious to our conversation, but all the sudden she stopped in front of me, rummaged around in her bag, and handed me this…….

It was the most random, odd, and sweetest (literally) thing. I thanked her profusely. Partially for the candy, mostly for completely making my day.