I finished my last shift as an RN a few mornings ago.
Just in time. It was the last of five night shifts in a row, and I’m afraid I was on the verge of getting, as one of my fellow night shifter RN buddies terms it, ‘stupid tired.’
Two days of trying to readjust to being awake during the day, lots of errands, goodbyes, and 27ish hours of sleep later, I still haven’t completely processed it. I am done being a nurse. It still feels like I’m going to get a phone call any second, that someone has called in, someone has a sick kid, or someone broke their [insert bone and/or joint here], and they need me to fill in. They need me to be a nurse again, one last time.
I was supposed to leave for residency this morning. I don’t really have to I suppose. Orientation doesn’t start until the middle of next week, and what am I going to do? Unpack in a couple hours and sit in an apartment with no furniture, hot water, or internet, and stare at the walls for several days because I am trying not to spend any money (that I don’t have)?
I’m staying as long as I can. At home. With The Writer, where my friends are. Not to mention I couldn’t pack my car today anyway. The Hound decided to run off from the farm over the weekend and I had to take her back. She was fine until my friend who was watching her went on vacation. Apparently, she got bored after a couple days and ended up getting busted chowing down on a neighbor’s garbage. The Hound has never been able to resist a heaping, odoriferous, tantalizing (?) pile of garbage. I got a call from my vet while I was at work, letting me know she had been apprehended. I picked her up today, took her for a long walk, gave her some bones, and sat with her on the lawn scratching her belly. Naughty, spoiled Hound.
I drove her back to the farm and she happily slobbered, shed, and farted all over the back seat the whole way. Naughty, spoiled, smelly, sheddy Hound. I’d really missed her. She, however, hopped out of the hatchback as soon as we arrived and set out for some serious sniffage. With one brief look of acknowledgement back at me, “Hey, thanks for the ride!”, she was off, like she’d never left.
I drove away, knowing they will take good care of her, but still missing her. I followed the sunset on the way home. Suddenly realizing I had my camera in the car, that I haven’t taken a picture in weeks, so I lost myself in the chase. I managed to get a few shots, as the sun quickly sank, lighting up the sky and the clouds. Just in time.
I think I will leave in the morning. The car is packed, I just need to make the leap and go. It’s so tempting to wait as long as possible, to stay as long as I can, one more dinner with friends, one more visit with The Hound, one more cuddle on the couch with The Writer, until I have to race into orientation at the last second. Just in time.